Ready-Made Confidence

sermon preparation (Photo credit: AngloBaptist)

As my every other week blogging continues (this time because I'm heading to Mexico on Tuesday), I find myself reflecting on the service and message I led last night.  I preached on Romans 8 through the lens of the Heidelberg Catechism Lord's Day 1, taking a look at what it means to belong.  Early last week I got back from Indiana for the holidays and was celebrating Christmas/New Year's with family in Holland, and I felt at ease with the preparation I had to do.  All of a sudden it's Friday though, and I'm doing an overhaul of the message because I realized I had forced my hand and not let God work.  The weekend begins, my head is thinking through all the things that need to get done before I leave on this upcoming trip, and when I stand up at 6:00 on Sunday night I feel like I'm boring the congregation and that I must be reading some one else's manuscript because the few times I look up (though I've practiced and thought I knew most of what's on the pages), all I can see is blank stares.

As a pastor-in-training, there's things you learn about yourself.  I know that my usual confidence borderlines on being egotistical.  I know I struggle more with eye contact when there is more open space.  I know I need routine.  I recognize that not every sermon I preach will or should raise a "10" from everyone in the congregation.  I also know, however, that when I go back and listen to myself on Monday morning, the anxiety I felt the day before when I thought I must not be making sense or am sounding like an idiot drifts away.  As much as I learn about myself, I learn even more with every time I preach that God truly is the one who speaks at the pulpit.

Why am I letting my anxieties fly?  I'm guessing that most church leaders have this same issue.  You prepped all week, you felt some type of confidence with what you stood up to preach, but after the service, no matter how many times you hear "Good sermon, pastor!" as you greet the people walking out, there's anxiety over failure.  Maybe they are just encouraging you, but I'm guessing that more often than not, those words that came out of you actually did connect them to God, and that thing called "sermon presentation" which is eating you up came out exactly the way God intended.  Be encouraged, pastors and teachers!

For those of you that are church goers though, your pastor knows what you're going through.  Just because we've spent all week reading a particular passage, praying, writing, and studying throughout the Bible does not mean we're perfect!  We struggle in the day to day with living as God calls us to, with preforming our work to the best of our abilities, with the same anxiety about our success that you have in your career.  To belong as Christians means we are saved and are assured of eternal life, but it also means we are made by the Spirit willing and ready to live for God, to live sharing in the inheritance of his suffering and his glory as his sons and daughters.  Life is full of that suffering, whether it be religious persecution, disease and sickness, or hurt emotions, but it also is full of sharing in the glory of God.  All of our work, no matter your profession, is done for God's purposes.  That promise that we are made ready enables us to be confident that no matter how bad our job performance may feel to us, if we have truly done our work as a thank offering to God, then our efforts have been blessed by him.  Brothers and sisters in Christ, be encouraged in your work, homes, and families!