(Originally written for The Baldwin Bulletin: Pastor's Column May 4, 2022)
And the LORD said to
Moses, “Go down, for your people, whom you brought up out of the land of Egypt,
have corrupted themselves. They have turned aside quickly out of the way that I
commanded them…I have seen this people, and behold, it is a stiff-necked
people. Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may burn hot against them and
I may consume them, in order that I may make a great nation of you”…[But] the
LORD relented from the disaster that he had spoken of bringing on his people.
(Exodus 32:7-14)
The LORD passed before
[Moses] and proclaimed, “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow
to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast
love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will
by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the
children and the children’s children, to the third and fourth generation.” (Exodus
34:6-7)
As a dad of a 7-year-old,
a 5-year-old, and a nearly 1-year-old, there are plenty of moments daily when
I’m wondering what’s going on in their heads. Having begun to walk over the
last few weeks, our youngest has a newfound sense of exploration, but she’s
still learning what she can and can’t do—which is a lot of what she sees her
older siblings doing. Our middle child is very smart and extremely stubborn,
which make for a lethal combination trying to get him to do things when his
mind is made up against us. Our oldest is plenty smart as well—she knows and
knows how to do plenty of things, but every now and then it’s like all that
completely disappears.
My wife and I regularly find
ourselves not understanding why each of our children does certain things. Yes,
we know, “They’re just kids. This is normal. They’ve got a lot of growing to do”
But that doesn’t make it easier.
As difficult, terrifying,
frustrating, enjoyable, and incredible as parenting is, it has grown my insight
about the patience and graciousness of our God. He is the Creator—and not just
the Creator of some human beings, but all human beings. He is the one who had
freed Israel from Egypt and had made them his covenant people before they
decided to break the laws he set in place, which warranted God’s reaction in
Exodus 32. He is perfectly good, and he is perfect in his mercy, grace, anger,
love, and faithfulness. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor
repay us according to our iniquities (Psalm 103:10). We don’t face the full
brunt of what we deserve for our transgressions.
If you have a chance to
read Leviticus 26, you’ll find there promised blessings or rewards God would
give his people if they would simply walk with him. That’s followed by curses
or punishments he also promised, if they didn’t listen to him—which they ended
up getting. Why punish his own? To correct them. To cause them to see that they
had broken the covenant they promised to uphold. At the end of that chapter,
God graciously reminds them, “But if they will confess their sins and the
sins of their ancestors…which made me hostile toward them…I will remember my
covenant…The covenant…to be their God. I am the LORD.” What were their
sins? “…Their unfaithfulness and their hostility toward me…” (Leviticus
26:40-45).
God is a gracious and
generous Father—a Father not just to Jesus, but the Father of all who seek him by
faith through Jesus. We get adopted to be his children! God the Father takes
the sacrifice of Jesus as a substitute for the eternal punishment we deserve.
If I look at my kids and wonder what’s going on in their heads, remember God
sees and knows and hears the actions, thoughts, motives, intents, and speech of
every single human being. How frustrating and angering that must be if the righteousness,
the perfect obedience of Jesus is not dealing with all our sin and brokenness. God
knew the Old Testament Israelites were sinners just as he knows that we are
still sinners today, and yet he continues to call us to holiness. Our
Spirit-filled pursuit of holiness is not just to try and avoid making God
angry, but it’s our expression of love and gratitude for all that he has done
for us.
Parents, we won’t ever
make sense of all that’s going on in our kids’ heads. It’s worth being
reminded—myself included—they’re not the only imperfect ones in the
relationship. We’ve got our own sin and brokenness, too. One huge area where
the connection between God the Father and his children and us as parents with
our children breaks down is if we fool ourselves that we’ve got it all right. But
even in our brokenness, God does call us to love and to discipline our
children, discipling them to a knowledge of Jesus and to know what is right and
wrong. While there are larger covenant bonds that the church participates in, we,
too, have covenant bonds to our children to show God’s love and lead them to
see his ways. As much as we can, let’s put God in their heads.
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