Godly Grief

 (Originally written for The Baldwin Bulletin: Pastor's Column April 17, 2024)

…Even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God. Therefore we are comforted. (2 Corinthians 7:8-12)

A recent discussion I had with our youth group dealt with the question, “In sanctification the goal is Christlikeness…What do you think it means to ‘be like Christ’?” Jesus’ death on the cross and resurrection are wholly sufficient to provide salvation to those who God loves and who repent and believe in him. Two things that Jesus’ actions offer right now are justification—the forgiveness of sins and punishment—and sanctification—that we are made holy, regenerated, reborn, caused to live a new life, able to bear good fruit through love. If you are saved, both are given to you.

In his letter to the people of Corinth, the apostle Paul first talks about grief. I think it’s fair to say few people enjoy grief. Grief is a time of sadness, mourning, and pain. We normally think of grief with physical death, but he’s talking about grief over death that needed to happen with sin. When believers recognize that they are not living as God calls and enables them to by his Holy Spirit, we are called to put sin to death. That can be hard if we’ve enjoyed our sin, but also acknowledging that our sins grieve God and are harmful to us—they are not the best life God offers—that acknowledgment can cause sorrow. But genuine Christian grief is only temporary.

I rejoice…because you were grieved into repenting…For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret…For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment…Therefore we are comforted. The pain and regret are short term when sanctification is happening. The Heidelberg Catechism, one of the Reformed confessions, summarizes genuine repentance or conversion as “the dying-away of the old self, and the rising-to-life of the new.” The dying-away is the grief part, but the rising-to-life is, “Wholehearted joy in God through Christ and a love and delight to live according to the will of God by doing every kind of good work” (Q&A 88-90).

How do we “be like Christ”? The teenagers in our group talked about not just imitation, but the desire to improve, to leave behind sin and temptation. This isn’t just behavior modification. This isn’t meant to be “I feel bad, and I’ll try better and harder next time.” Being like Christ is an enjoyable growth and maturing in our lives because the Holy Spirit is alive in us. Godly grief is not bad, but recognize that it is the root out of which good fruit and godly living develop. See the eagerness and longing and zeal to delight in God and enjoy his ways when you recognize what agony our sins and fallen nature required of Jesus.